It’s Sunday morning at 04h50 and I am in pain. It’s the decision between letting everyone down as the planned event won’t continue or applying rule #5 - man the beep up. Initially, I send a message asking to continue without me and realise that time is ticking, I delete the message for all and get my kit on. It’s a beautiful morning and we are about to embark on a sunrise ride. Everyone is excited and ready to go. I am somber and trying to control my thoughts.

It’s been a while since I have had to dig deep. Everyone is very accommodating, helpful along the way, and patient. For once I don’t feel like I made the wrong decision and am letting everyone down. There are still enjoyable moments in the morning and 32km in the message “we only have 20km to go” is good enough for me to no longer conserve my energy. The group works together to help get me home. It’s a hard day out there.

A good reflection was my self-sacrifice. I spend the rest of the day suffering and now have a few rest and recovery days ahead. My experience was very different than before. The support I felt was amazing and the conversation of encouragement helped me drown out any negative thinking. Overall we had an amazing morning out.

You gotta train your mind to be stronger than your emotions ore else you’ll lose yourself every time.

I am grateful to people like these in my life, the beautiful sunrises I get to see, and exploring the countryside on my bicycle.