February is the month of love and for one day in the year, we celebrate love. We often forget how important self-love is and this is something we should be practicing daily.

I have been working closely with a personal trainer to get my health back on track. With her permission, I share her insights when it feels like things are just not going your way.

“Hello, my beautiful souls. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Day of Love. I don't know about you guys, but just reading there, I think it is much aligned where it isn't so much about what you're doing with your partner on this day that everyone's declaring as the day where you recognize love. But for me, it started feeling more like a self-love day, bringing love into yourself, and then whatever happens from the outside world in is like a bonus.

I think this is all aligned and it always is what it needs to be in perfect timing, even on the days when you feel like you're having a tower moment, and by that I mean it's normally like you've built up something and it feels like that whole thing is crumbling down, and it feels devastating, and all the things come with that sadness, the feeling of like a waste of time or betrayal of self or of your own time or what you tried and feel like a failure, and all those crazy, crazy thoughts come in.

The narratives come into the space when you're having a tough day or a tough period in life, and so often this comes through, especially at this time of the year, because often there's an expectation of it being so amazing and so loving and so light, and then anything less than that is almost emphasized even more. So, it might quite possibly be divinely timed to be on this day, when you feel the way you're feeling.

I can relate on some very different level. It's taken all of me, despite what I think of myself sometimes, to stop that and make it different, and it doesn't come easily. It doesn't mean you even know how. It's just the decision to not let that negative slide get more momentum. It's just to stop that for a moment, even if you don't know what to replace it with, just to stop believing it, because the more you believe it, the more it will be and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We can sit and tell you all the most beautiful things that we see in you, but until you start to want to see it, it won't fall into your world yet, and it's difficult to hear those things when you're not in a space that any of that feels true. But I'm here to tell you that what you're feeling, it's validated, it's valid how you're feeling. It doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't mean those things are true, that you've reached dead ends, that everything is for nothing, that there's no way forward and there's no hope. I think that's the furthest thing from truth on all levels, all the time.

I wanted to share with you the fact that I understand that place, even though it comes through differently for each of us, and I want to tell you that it is not set, and it's not permanent. It's a moment, it's a fleeting period, and it's valid that you're feeling that way, but it's an indicator for things to just be decided to be different, and it may take a day or two or a week, but at some point, you start deciding little things, little better things. When we say better than, we know that I'm not even talking about better choices and food here. I'm talking about little tiny things. A better option of letting that voice run is to stop it, and even if you believe it in your soul, you're like, yeah, but it's true for me. Don't reiterate it. Just stop it. Don't give it the power.

To be better than yesterday would be to be less powerful in reaffirming what you don't want, because that holds power, and it's going to pull it more to you. The way to get out of the pits is to stop looking down and start looking for ways up. That's the start, and it can look like little breadcrumbs, and yes, start again, and yes, step again, but it's something I've learned. The journey is never just done. It's always starting again, and sometimes it feels worse than others because you feel like, damn it, I've been here a thousand times before. I'm here again, so what's going to make it feel any different that I'm just going to fall here again if I even try to get out?

That is something, I don't have a word for it, that is so enticing for the human psyche to sit in comfortably saying, I'm familiar with this, so why even try? It's hard, and it's sore, and it sucks when I try to get out of here because I fall here, and I'm comfortable here because I know how to be here because I've been here for so long. That's the stuff we want to walk out of. That's the tar, that's the stickiness, and we walk out of that tar pit, you've still got stickiness stuck on your soles, and you're walking tar all over the show, all over the house, until one day you keep stepping out of it. It's less and less and less on the feet, and slowly that tar, you start avoiding coming back, but it's a process and a journey, and we are here for you!”

It’s been months since I have written a newsletter. Life has been busy on so many fronts. Our extremely cold winter feels like a distant memory as we are scorching in the summer sun. Winter had a few lessons in life for me and saw me hitting a real low before I clawed my way back again.

Can you believe it is nearly 2 years since we moved to Montagu! We love our new home and continue to create spaces to enjoy the outdoors. We have one project to complete which will bring much-needed shade.

Someone asked me this week if I am feeling more settled. It indeed takes up to two years to adjust to a new town. Finding your way around and of course where the best of everything is. Our influx of guests has become a more steady intake and I no longer feel like I am running a B&B. Don’t get me wrong we love having people here enjoying our home and town, but every weekend in a month gets a bit much.

We took a short break to the Karoo National Park recently and were reminded of why we moved to the Karoo. We wanted to be 2.5 hours closer to the Karoo area so we could continue doing the things we love. Morne & I are both entrenched in the community. We have our areas of involvement which we love and keep us active on weekends.

I have recently joined the Tourism Committee and continue to be an ambassador for our town, cycling and running events. Follow us on montagutrails on Instagram.

We have incredible beauty right on our doorstep. Jackie, who I work with at LeadMe, laughs when I tell her I am going raking on Fridays. I spend time with the trail building and maintenance team preparing the trails and creating new ones.

Today I thought I would just share more about life with you. I have been working with LeadMe Academy for 18 months now and am very happy being part of this team. The impact we have in developing leaders with the online leadership development programme and incorporation of coaching is transformational.

For those who follow me on Strava, you would have seen a lot less cycling over the past 13 weeks. Unfortunately, knee pain and early degeneration have kept me from doing the sport I have loved for so many years. With change, we learn to adapt and I am enjoying personal training sessions and walking.

Until next time! Wishing you a wonderful festive season.

For those that know me well, when I have a newfound interest I will share more about that with you often as well as my journey.

For those that are getting up to speed, 2 weeks ago I embarked on a Breathwork Foundation course presented by Dr Ela Manga from Breathwork Africa, in the Karoo.

The 3-day Breathwork Foundation Course offers participants fascinating insights into the science of breathing and a solid set of skills that can be applied and shared with family, colleagues, students and clients.

If you missed previous posts related to Breathwork I share my experiences with you in a series of posts.

Post 1: Breathe
Post 2: Breathing IN the Karoo
Post 3: How is it going

Picking up from where I left off, I am back home in the beautiful Klein Karoo. Part of what we were taught was that it starts with Awareness. Are you consciously aware of your breath? Do you breath mostly through your nose or mouth?

Becoming aware of your breathing should leave you curious to learn more.

Interested to learn more?

Read this article:
The benefits of conscious deep breathing

Watch this video:
The Art and Science of Energy Management

The story continues … We arrived in Cape Town this week. I am always very busy running around and also lots of talking happening.

Normally I am very anxious with all the racing around and needing to get things done. There is still an inner calm lingering from the weekend. I am aware when I go in habitual breathing patterns - mostly mouth breathing.

After a late night out and needing go get straight to bed, I realised how my awareness was over shadowed and I slipped into old behaviours.

Awareness is part of once you see it, it can’t be unseen. I am conciously aware.

I also look forward to returning home to great air quality, less traffic and less talking ;-)

Its been good to see how I integrate my new learnings while adjusting to a different pace of life.

Curious to try a simple breathing practice

More to follow … Breathwork in the Karoo

It has been two days since the Breathwork Africa foundation course … and how has that been going, you may ask?In training we often speak about short-term interventions and how they do not work! Well this was one is a hell of a deep intervention that is continuing to work.

After a good nights rest and mouth taping, yes that is a thing, I am back to share more of the journey with you. After the cleansing ceremony we got into some practices. We spent most of our time in an open plan area on our yoga mats, notebooks by our sides and blankets for to keep us warm and cozy.

We started to experience some of the Energising, Calming and Balancing breathing practices. We would do some theory, pause for an exercise, debrief as a group and so it would continue till tea time and amazing lunches and dinners prepared by Gecko Rock staff.

Not only did we have excellent facilitators in the room, Ela & Marj, we were surround by woman from many walks of life and mostly serving others through their practices of coaching, counselling, psychology and other healing disciplines. With a safe space created for us all to share our stories, we soon connected with each other as a sister-hood. After-all we were in a remote location for 3-days together.

With each breath we learnt more about the science behind the art of breathing and how we could apply different techniques to our daily lives and support others in their breath awareness.

Keen to learn more about Breathwork? Listen below:
Introduction to breathwork with Dr Ela Manga, founder of Breathwork Africa

More to follow.

Where to even begin … this weekend I attended the Breathwork Africa Foundation Course at Gecko Rock. In 2020 when I stumbled across an Instagram Live with Dr Ela Manga I was hooked. I told all my friends about my amazing discovery. I went on to exploring Oxygen Advantage and in a discussion with Ela, my fascination started. What if breath could resolve much of my anxiety? How could I become a better version of myself.

I was introduced to Breathcafes and her book. I met Marj for the first time. Breathwork foundation was on my list of things I really wanted to do and it felt so out of reach. Moving to the Karoo changed it all. I set aside the funds, made a suggestion to a good friend who followed through. All I had to do was count the sleeps after Marj and Ela said YES WE ARE COMING TO THE KAROO!

Thursday I packed up and left for 3 incredible days at Gecko Rock Private Nature reserve. Little did I know that I would be surrounded by 20 other incredible woman from different walks of life.

We opened the 3 day course with a welcoming dinner on Thursday evening and got into the first exercise on the morning of Day 1. Who Am I? My name and meaning followed by I am the daughter of, I am the mother of, I am the sister of …

I didn’t know how difficult this could be. Not only was I reminded of the significance of my name Ka (from Kate) and Min (from Minnie) my two grandmothers, being the daughter of took me back to my difficult maternal relationship and then the mother of ahhhh Keeno my boy. So much emotion in this initial exercise.

We moved onto a cleansing exercise in pairs of hand washing and the weekend started with a very unique bond amongst many of us.

It’s time for me to sleep as I integrate the incredible learnings form the weekend into my being. More to follow.

It’s the end of March! How did we get here so quickly? We are settled in our new home with the major changes completed. It’s great to not have builders in an out of the property often. We opened our home to the first guests in early March and had a wonderful celebration of my Dad’s 75th birthday together.

I enjoy structure and yes that can be difficult in the complexity of life. It gives me time to ground myself and not feel like I am hanging on by a thread with all my responsibilities and demands on my time. I get to order my day and choose what I focus on. Now this can change in a blink of an eye. For now we enjoy the sense of “normality”, the familiarity of structure.

It has taken me longer than expected this year to get things in order. Some of the great strides I have made have been undone, while I focus on other priorities in my life or just learn to acknowledge that I am where I need to be for now.

I have grown in many ways through this process. As a friend said this week, maybe it is Kamin 3.0 in the making now. We can often be so hard on ourselves.

Self-empathy is a core skill we can all work on developing.

Probably the best way to explain self-empathy is to say how you can cultivate it. It’s easier to understand when you see it in action. Here are four steps to self-empathy and self-kindness.

1. Recognize Yourself as a Feeling Being

Recognize that you’re a feeling being. You are wired to feel. You feelings are important to you. Having self-empathy involves accepting that it’s OK to feel.

2. Sense Your Deepest Needs

Having self-empathy involves having a sensitivity to our emotional needs.

3. Understand That Life Is Challenging

You’re not failing when you’re having a hard time, you’re just being human.

4. Offer Yourself Kindness and Support

We start to think of it as natural for us to give ourselves support and encouragement as we encounter life’s inevitable difficulties.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. And who, out of this “everyone,” do you encounter most often?

That person is, of course, yourself.

Read the full article here → Wildmind Meditation

It’s been a while! How did we get to the end of February so soon? The last time we spoke I was pre-move. I was feeling rather deflated at all the ongoing decisions we were making. Today we are 3 weeks away from what I will call Phase 1 completed. There are more plans in the pipeline. For now, I think we need to pause and enjoy our new space.

The guest cottage, the converted garage, turned out beautifully and modern. The living spaces in our home has a better flow to it and openness with more spaciousness. We can see the Karoo skies at night and sunrise from our bed in the morning. Loving it is an understatement!

We have started making memories with people sharing our space. There will be more to come, also more thoughtful this year. Last year was very busy. Not only was it a massive life change that we underwent, we had frequent visitors and a space that never really felt our own.

As more new people move to our town, it brings other opportunities. I am so happy to be back in my weekly strength and conditioning training sessions. I really miss Marc and am grateful to still be part of his journey now living in Oz.

So heres to 2023 of settling down, finding flow and more balance. And not forgetting to have FUN while doing so. Recently I was reminded of how short life truly is. Take time to tell those you love how much they mean to you.

My pre-frontal cortex is moeg! There is no other way of saying it. Tomorrow is d-day for our move. Much excitement and anticipation for this moment. In our early married years we move 8 times in 7 years … must of had little stuff. Now it is a process of note! You would think moving between two houses 1.6km apart from each other would be easy. Do you know how many times we have been up and down!

This Sunday I look forward to putting my feet up and doing nothing! Yip nothing! It’s been 9 weeks of preparation little bit by little bit as we work on the vision for our new home. We are forever grateful to the owners that allowed us early access to the property to start the changes. Not sure I would have coped with that while working and trying to move at the same time.

Do you know that you have a limited capacity of working memory?

The pre-frontal cortex is generally responsible for cognition, including information modulation, attentional focus, decision-making, emotional analysis and response, problem-solving, working memory, and the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.

Moving house is considered the most stressful thing you can do – topping a poll with 57% of respondents, followed by 32% who chose 'having a child', and 30% who said a divorce or breakup was the most stressful. 'Needing more space' was the most frequently cited reason for moving – 42% of respondents. Source: Legal & General

We didn’t go for the more space option <laughing out loud>. Coming from our Cape Town house to Montagu we have had boxes still packed for 1 year and now the sorting process of what to keep.

Here are some of the key aspects to handling a stressful situation:

• Keep moving, it helps with your degree of flexibility and reduces injury risk. If you need to put your exercise plan on hold for 1 week, that is OK.

• Manage expectations regarding your availability for work related tasks. Take time off if that is what you need. It is also good to have a balanced approach and not just pack.

• Reduce your alcohol intake. Suppressing emotions and having brain fog in these situations are not helpful. There are great non-alcoholic options.

• Great friends offer ongoing support. It’s important to acknowledge when you need help. Basics things like ice in this heat, a meal … they all go a long way. Thank You!

Happy New Year! Wishing you all the best for the year ahead. I hope you had a wonderful festive season celebrating with family and friends.

Do you recall the Lost & Found section from your school days? For those that have kids I am not sure if it is still a thing. You used to take items that you found and report them to an administrator in the office and they were kept for a certain duration for someone to collect who owned up to the item being theirs.

In the early hours of this morning, the title for my post “Lost & Found” made its way into my thoughts. Many people have been sharing how we are starting to recover from the 2020 - 2022 period. Reflecting back I think that some of us are still “Lost” and others are “Found”. People have been taking time to reassess their needs and learning to function in this new hybrid world of in-person and remote connectedness.

In the last year I have also felt lost at times and grabbled with much change. There are exciting times ahead and I have been looking forward to 2023. Soon we move to our new house and I will have the opportunity to unpack boxes that have been in storage for 1 year and really settle into life in Montagu.

If you have feeling feeling lost

→ Recognise that it is Okay!
→ Be aware that you have more control than you think.

“You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

The holidays are here for many of us. Have you been hanging on by your finger nails in anticipation for this break that will help you reset?

LeadMe has recently shared some great resources about burnout and taking time to reflect as 2022 draws to a close. I suggest you take some time to read these articles.

A holiday won’t fix your burnout - read more here

Reflect, release, let go, learn - read more here

For those celebrating this festive season, wishing you and your families a wonderful time together. We look forward to our 1st celebration in Montagu. Safe travels and I hope you are as excited about 2023 as I am.

The Oxford Dictionary defines failure as "to not be successful in achieving something”. I just made a mistake with something I was busy with and it made me think of Willie from Single-Track. He reminded me that we are all human and we make mistakes. Striving for perfection is not helpful.

In my role I interact with people I reach-out to people often using messages. We are a human business and do not use automation to do many of these tasks for us. Making a mistake means you own up and say I’m sorry to something as simple as spelling a person’s name incorrectly. Working for a company that provides you Psychological Safety to own up and speak up allows you to bring your human to work.

It is so important to be part of an organisation that allows you to be your authentic self otherwise you will wear a mask in that environment. Covid has taught us to show-up more naturally than we have before in simple ways like even how we dress. The funny thing is I still continue to spray perfume on before a virtual meeting ;-)

So whats the point I am making today? I think we all need to reframe how we measure success and failure. Lloyd Ripley-Evans did a great talk on Reframing Success. Craig Terblanche summaries it well in this short video.

It’s not another Black Friday email in your inbox ;-)
Do you know why it is called Black Friday? It’s the day after the US holiday of Thanksgiving, regarded as the first day of the Christmas shopping season, on which retailers make many special offers.

Do you partake in this crazy weekend of shopping specials? I want to shift our focus to Giving Thanks and the Festive Season that lies ahead. We have one month to go until Christmas. For those that celebrate it’s a special time but also deeply conflicted and filled with sadness for many. As you put the cheer into your days, I want you to have empathy for the situation many others find themselves in.

Here, five reasons why giving thanks is actually good for you.

Counting blessings boosts your health. Emmons’ and McCullough’s research showed that grateful people had less depression and stress, lower blood pressure, more energy, and greater optimism.

Slow down the aging clock. In older adults, Emmons and McCullough found, a daily practice of gratitude even slowed down some of the effects of neurodegeneration that often occurs as we age.

Put the brakes on stress. Cortisol is often called the “stress hormone,” and when our bodies produce too much, it can deplete the immune system and raise blood sugar levels. A study conducted at the Institute of HeartMath Research Center in California found that positive emotions like appreciation significantly lowered levels of cortisol.

Being thankful helps you bond. Research by U.S. psychologists Sara Algoe and Baldwin Way indicates that gratitude also can lead to better relationships. The explanation may be connected to increased production of oxytocin, sometimes called the “bonding hormone” because it fosters calm and security in relationships.

With summer comes a new energy and pace. I have been rather busy lately with a range of things on the go. As a few people have said, when am I not busy. I am happy to report that my busyness is no longer a form of avoidance. I live a very fulfilling life.

I was up early this morning enjoying the humid fresh air of Montagu while walking around the neighbourhood. There were so many people to say Good Morning too. I left my phone at home so didn’t capture any moments and the thoughts that came to mind is that we all need someone. Someone to meet us at the gate to go on a cycle with, someone to have coffee with, someone to share special moments with, someone to say I need you to be here for me now, someone to ….. → what do you need today?

Its been a cray-cray two weeks. As norm returns I pick up on the things I haven’t gotten to completing. Isn’t it funny how we decide what we deprioritise. In a mentoring session we were discussing exactly this. How we deprioritise our own needs when we start to get exceptionally busy and ensure that everything else that needs our attention gets our energy.

It reminds me of levers that we pull. It’s not about being ON or OFF, but rather a fluctuation of levels that are required.

So what do we do about putting ourselves up the priority list?

Its my favourite day of the week! An opportunity to have little to no structure. Time to relax, unwind and enjoy activities you do not always find time for in a busy schedule.

A friend recently asked me when my days are not busy. Constantly being busy and filling your time is not a healthy approach to life. It can be an avoidance tactic or for some feel highly productive. At what cost does this busyness come at?

Pause and Reflect on how you are managing Your Energy. I often refer to the Energy Zone Map by Dr Ela Manga.

She talks about opportunities to create recovery loops. The work Dr Ela and her team are doing at Breathwork Africa is amazing.

The beauty of breathwork is that once you have learnt the techniques, you don’t need a special time, place or circumstance to put them into practice. Breathwork provides simple, effective and accessible ‘recovery loops’, which you can use throughout your day to break the cycle of adrenalised energy.

Take a moment to B-R-E-A-T-H-E … using this guide.

Another week has passed and this time I notice that a resident is our street no longer does her daily walks past our house. One moment she was still here and then one day she was no longer. Makes you pause and realise how things you become accustomed to change from one day to the next.

Speaking to a friend we reflected on deciding factors in your life which result in different paths. This made me think back to the impactful moments in my life. In 2010 I experienced burnout. In 2014 I lost my grandmother and experienced a nervous breakdown. At the age of 38 I had two x partial cornea transplants to halt going blind with the condition I had from birth. Leading up to 40 there was a lot going on.

I recall the day I walked into the Personal Trainer’s office for an assessment and announced he had 1 month before I turned 40 to make a change … wasn’t his change to make. Years later we were still training together and had a mutually beneficial relationship. I miss those days and wish Marc well in Australia as he inspires and impacts the lives of others.

So what is the point I am trying to make? There is a time in your life, I would argue late 30s for woman, that you gain clarity on what you want your life to look like by design. Call it wisdom, Call it perspective, Call it what you want, but there is a defining moment that “the switch” happens.

Take some time to reflect on what your defining moment was. The moment is filled with clarity, insight and energy. Was it merely a moment or did the trajectory of the path you will lead change from that day on?

Life is like a box of chocolates …

People are curious to know what life is like in Montagu. For those that have been following Our Story you often see all the good and fun things we do.

As we enter the last quarter of 2022, I take some time to reflect on this year. WOW what a journey it has been! We officially moved from Melkbosstrand to Montagu on the 26th of January, in the heat of summer. We have experienced most of the seasons. Months October, November and December are new to us still.

The weather has been extreme from highs of 40+ to -3 in Winter. In the first 6 months I found it really difficult to settle in the town until I met a wonderful new friend. Life is seemingly easier when you have someone to share the good and the challenging with.

There will always be more mountains to climb and so we continue to build resilience and adapt to ongoing change. This week I have drawn from my strengths to remember how best to nourish myself. Self-care and managing boundaries remain of importance.

In times of difficulty you can have empathy for yourself through these four ways:

• Talk to yourself like you talk to your friends.

• Practice Mindfulness to eliminate self-judgment.

• Forgive yourself.

• Don’t compare yourself to others.

Phew October is on our doorstep. I’m reminded that we have 3 months left of this year and then for us it’s nearly time to move again. We did it! After 1 year of house hunting we secured our new home in Montagu. I’m looking forward to unpacking the remaining boxes and settling.

I have been reminded today that I should not focus on 2023 and rather try and remain present. This year has had many highs and lows and big changes for us. Some have been easier to accept and others have been really challenging. I do not wish my year of learning away. I am learning to embrace change and in return build my resilience.

With seasons changing and the outdoors calling my name, it’s time for me to set my sights on what each new day brings and be grateful for all the opportunities I have.

I hope you will also be making the most of the last quarter of the year ahead.

It happens to the best of us. Its mid-week already. Thank you to those that have been sharing their love for this newsletter. Last week had many lows. I am happy to say that my perspective has shifted and I have embraced this new week with lots of vigour. It does feel like the week is flying past.

After a weekend of guests in our home, Sunday nights become sacred and a chance to regroup and reenergise. For those that follow me on Instagram, you might have noticed that I started playing tennis again. The last time I played was in primary school. We are having so much fun. Most calories burnt in 45 minutes and laughter which is so good for the soul.

This week we unpacked a big topic - Communication, during our Disrupt Yourself Programme. The journey continues. What I found fascinating is learning about Transactional Analysis and Functional Fluency.

In non-technical jargon - Our Parent Ego, Adult Ego and Child Egos. A recommended read is I’m Ok, You’re Ok by Thomas A. Harris.

What is the key message of

When we are born, we all feel scared, helpless, and dependent on other people. This is because the process of birth is very traumatic for children who, after being thrown into the world, become dependent on their caretakers. But by identifying and discarding our old behaviors and patterns, we can create healthier ones that can help us be in the “I’m okay, you’re okay” position. Valuable advice: Analyze and observe your thoughts. Whenever you are inclined to think negative thoughts, it’s important to analyze it and see whether it’s realistic or not.

Use the concepts described above to detect whether you’re acting like a Child, Parent, or Adult. You can read more here or watch the video.

We can all do with becoming better communicators.